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The Life and Times of Grey Boy
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| now that its june we’ll sleep out in the garden... |
[23 Jun 2005|11:50pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Iron & Wine - Love and Some Verses |
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I know a man.
He drives a blue Mini Cooper.
In the back seat of his blue Mini Cooper sits a huge pink teddy bear.
His pink teddy bear is so big that it spills over into the front seat.
The man refers to this bear as his, “Traveling Companion.”
He buckles him in.
On sunny days, the bear wears a visor.
In the winter, the bear wears a scarf.
I once told the man that bears don’t need scarves to keep warm; that is what their fur is for.
The man didn’t respond to me.
Neither did the bear.
By the way the man spoke of the bear I half expected it to talk
Expectation is a bitch.
So is insanity.
Remember that.
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| Being happy is underrated |
[18 Jun 2005|09:28pm] |
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mood |
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 rejected |
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I'm far too angst-ridden to write anything of worth right now, and have been for a long time, which explains the scarcity of new posts. I thought this summer was going to be the best I've ever had, but it's going to be the same as all past summers, long and boring. I'm aware I'm wallowing in my misery, but I don't think I'm capable of anything else.
A swift kick to my ass would probably do me a world of good, but I'm not the most obvious of wallowers, so no offers to do so have been received yet.
Boo fucking hoo for poor old Obed, he's lost the lust and determination that kept him alive for so long. Someone slap me. Please.
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| 6-6-05 |
[06 Jun 2005|10:54pm] |
this small papercut
frail red line so delicate
hurts like a mother
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| if silence is a crime then were both guilty... |
[28 Nov 2004|12:50am] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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music |
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Fifth Year Crush-Madison |
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Things have changed between us, though I am not sure what and I’m not sure why. We don't talk anymore; We just send random text messages like "hi" when there's nothing else to say . For a while, even though I could sense things were changing, I tried to pretend like they weren't. I still acted like my goofy self and played around. But more often than not I got a disapproving look, chin down, eyes up or the flat, "Uh, okay."
But today I had this urge to reconnect. I wanted to tell her that this weekend I had rolled $28 dollars worth of pennies. Pennies! Twenty-eight dollars worth! I wanted to tell her that the chemistry project that I had been working on for four days, the project that my perfectionistic self had been making me sick over, had finally come to and end. And it was perfect. But when I got home today I realized i didn't save it. I wanted to tell her that I went to see the Spongebob movie and that she was right it wasn't all that great.I wanted to tell her how excited I am about the Battle of the Sexes on TV tonight, how my sister just left for Tennessee, how my stomach hurt all day, how Hot Pockets are my new favorite food.
But I didn’t tell her any of it.
Things have changed. And maybe on some level I always knew they would, which would explain my reluctance to attempt to understand things. But it's still hard...
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| the finer things in life to eat... |
[28 Oct 2004|06:02pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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Ours - Leaves |
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I scanned the menu of the Chinese restaurant determined to try something different. Before I had decided a waitress appeared demanding, "Order!" With notepad in hand she went around the table counter clockwise.
"Chicken lo mein," said my mom.
"Sheeken lo mein," repeated the little Chinese waitress.
"Pork fried rice," said my aunt.
"Po flied lice," repeated the little Chinese waitress.
"Broccoli chicken with peanuts," said my cousin.
"Broccoli sheeken wit penis," said the waitress.
We all struggled to bite back our laughter. I, of course, was not successful. I laughed so hard tears streamed down my face. The waitress looked confused. My cousin who had ordered the penis then whispered to me, "I am not sure I want that anymore." But suddenly I knew what I was ordering.
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| spring is a time for hating your neighbors... |
[16 Sep 2004|04:35pm] |
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mood |
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 angry |
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music |
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A Dead Giveaway - Im Nobody |
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Due to circumstances beyond my control (read court mandate), I was forced to do community service.I chose the childrens hospital because I wanted to spread the wonders of literacy to people who wouldn't live long enough to enjoy it. Plus come on, the other choices were manual labor or old people.
So in I walk, with the biggest self-righteous grin on my face I could muster, and "Sniffy & Fluffy Have An Adventure" in my arms. From the start I knew something was wrong. These kids weren't crawling with non-communicable illnesses! In fact they looked like a bunch of bored teenagers. The only kid who looked like he belonged there had a tumor the size of your head.
Obviously I was in over my head. The kids took no time in pointing out the fact that I was terribly inept.Here is the brief conversation we had:
"Hey, I'm here to read to you-"
"You're a fag. Get out of here. I don't want to hear no kid story you queer."
"You can listen to mus-"
"God Charlie, listen to this faggot."
I'm getting pretty upset, so I ask the nurse what to do. She advised me to blow it out my ass, as she was taking a break. I adopted a get tough policy on the spot.
"Alright guys, I'm going to sit here and read a book, and then I'm going to sit here and pretend we talked so that I can become a productive member of society."
Catastrophe. The one called Charlie who I assume was in the hospital for ugly, threw a shoe at my face. I have more fast twitch muscle fiber then you white people, so I was able to duck. The shoe hit the kid with cancer in the face. I swear to god, this kid weighed eighty five pounds. He got up, obviously pissed, and slams Charlie in his beaver like mouth.
Charlie fell down, after the second blow, but Cancerboy just kept hitting. Bam, bam, bam, Charlie's face is turning into hamburger. All I could think is "Wow. That holocaust survivor has a nice throw." This slutty looking girl started screaming about how Charlie was getting killed so I try and comfort her by reading the story.
"One day Sniffy and Fluffy decide to go have some fun," I read "Sniffy has a severe coke addiction, and Fluffy is a homosexual drug dealer." I was entertained! But the girl kept screaming. I decided it was time to intervene, halfly because Cancerboy had gotten a hold of a pair of scissors, and was getting ready to drive them into Charlie's chest, and partly because I know how girls love it when men come to the rescue. Jailbait, meow.
I took Cancerboy's stick-like arms and pulled him off of Charlie's bruised and broken body. Suddenly he turns all of his rage around on me! He got a good punch in, I ducked another one, and his heart exploded. He fell on the ground lifeless and spackled with Charlie's blood. My jaw hurt, and my time was up, so I take the fire exit out, and leave.
Luckily I managed to get that chicks number, and when she gets out, we're going to meet in my dads car and go to Texas. Wish me luck.
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| turn up the radio and we'll sing a song... |
[30 Aug 2004|05:29pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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Further Seems Forever - Hide Nothing |
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That nap didn't do a damn thing for me. Well, except that I'm wide awake right now. And probably will be for most of the night.
My thoughts are running circles around my fingers, I can't possibly keep up. The sad thing is, they're not terribly intelligent thoughts. They aren't even mildly amusing thoughts. Just a bunch of crap. I feel like posting a big sign on my journal "Nothing to see here, move along!"
I feel so weak, and not in the "I'm Tired" kind of way. More like the "I'm pathetic and needy" kind of way. I haven't felt like this in a while. Well, at least not this severely. I hate feeling like this. I realize it's ok to have needs, I just don't like it when I feel like I have no control over it. Unfortunately, asking for what I need does not come easily for me. I'm not even sure of what it is that I need.
Maybe I just need to get laid...
Maybe I need a swift kick in the ass...
Maybe both.
Any volunteers?
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| Don't laugh that wasn't a joke... |
[23 Aug 2004|08:21pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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Hello Radio - Coverup |
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She came in and instructed me to look at her thong. While we are good friends and all, I draw the line at examining anything that takes residence between one's crack and crevice. You dig?
She looked at me oddly when I denied the request to look at her thong. "Why not?" she asked in complete seriousness.
"Well, uhhh... let's see..." I said sarcastically.
"Can you please just help me for a sec?" She walked closer to me.
I backed away and laughed. "Look chick, just because we went out to lunch the other day doesn't mean..."
"What the shit are you talking about?
And of course she didn't get it. Because by thong she was referring to her flip-flops. She wanted me to look at the beads on the thong that went between her toes. Between her toes. But of course I knew that. Duh.
But as I think about it... Aside from the fact that I upped my idiot factor exponentially, who the fuck calls their flip flops thongs?
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| When we laugh indoors the blistful tones bounce off the walls... |
[16 Aug 2004|04:28pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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Freemartin - Everlasting |
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Today was a interesting day. I performed my monologue but i guess I didnt do it how they wanted because Elisha was like "put more emotion into it". Which is really stupid cause its a sad piece so i did it all emo like. I really hate over-dramatizing shit that doesnt need to be. After me and the band practiced for about 15 minutes before we got kicked out of the music room. So me and Dennis decided to ditch study hall and play our acoustics. Tomorrow i'll post some pics of our band during one of our practices.
Comment and tell me how cool I am.
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| What does it take to get a drink in this place? |
[09 Aug 2004|10:28pm] |
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mood |
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 artistic |
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music |
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Fall of Transition - Fabulous Liar |
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Today was really boring
I got out of bed really early because kyle called my cell at 6:30 in the morning.
I feel unusual because my antidepressants are making me hairy.
I'm so hardcore. Me and Buzz went to the mall today, and I stole a whole heap of stuff. I got the Funeral For A Freind CD, a couple of DVDs and some new boots. Buzz got caught, but he fought his way out, and then we stole some lady's car and smashed it into a phone booth.
Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Amanda's friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I'd post pictures, but my webcam is broken.
I want to tell the world to get fucked.
I am updating this journal for the first time in ages, because I've been in prison.
Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! But I don't know how to work it. Can you help me?
I want to say thanks to simon and Abbey and Dave and the other Simon for helping me on Saturday. You guys are the best. By the way, if you happen to find my wallet, keys or underwear, could you SMS me? Adrian has my number.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, which makes me different enough to be interesting, but the same as all the other cool people with bipolar disorder.
You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you what your favourite sexual position is.
That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.
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| =( |
[30 Jul 2004|02:30pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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From First to Last - Wormwood |
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I don't think this is healthy.
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| Locked away, no chance to explain myself |
[17 May 2004|04:24pm] |
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mood |
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rejected |
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music |
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Secret Machines - Sad and Lonely |
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Ive decided im not gonna write any more LJ entries cuz no one reads my shit and no one leaves comments so ill just stay here in my dark room,in this lonely little corner eating my cold cereal. Well other than that today was ok. We came up with the dumbest names for are band and we free styled with Evan and we decided were gonna play a show in the cafeteria tomm. if we dont chicken out. So i guess ill say goodbye for the last time...
*Update* Im writing in my LJ again but you need to be a friend to see my other posts. So ask me to add you.
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[06 May 2004|10:26pm] |
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My LJ is freinds only.
So leave a comment to be added.
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wheniwaslonely's journal